is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
