her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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