I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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