2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
