Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
