So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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