I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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