My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize