If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize
