This girl is more easily done than said...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize