I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize