i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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