Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
