In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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