so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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