Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
