so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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