weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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