I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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