Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.