I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend