Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.