You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
