True but thats because hes a fetus.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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