white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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