i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
