Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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