Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
