you guys were way drunker than both of me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
