going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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