she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize