It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
