Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
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We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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