i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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