Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
