Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
