we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
