so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
