The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize