There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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