I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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