I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
