Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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