she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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