i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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