remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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