I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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