some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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