All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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