I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
