I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
