Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
