So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.