One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
