Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
