I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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