dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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