Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
