she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
wow bdsm is so cute
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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