I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
