Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
how can u be prego again
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Even my vagina gasped.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
