needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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