what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
